Thursday 24 November 2011
Dating morals
So I'm not the most moralistic person ever but I'm in a quandary, is it right to arrange first dates with 2 people at the same time? As well as the accountant mentioned below I'm talking to a lawyer, she seems very nice, she's kinda new to the area and we seem to be clicking nicely. Now of course this is early days and all via email but what's the etiquette here? Do I let them know I have another first date? Is it implied that I may have other dates scheduled? If I like both do I take them both on a second date? If I did when would I be obliged to make the choice? The last thing I want to do is cause hurt or offence, perhaps they too have other things in the pipeline and I'm thinking about this too much, that wouldn't be unheard of! Any help from all of my zero regular readers would be much appreciated, in fact any help from randoms flicking through would be too!
Wednesday 23 November 2011
Small world
So I got talking to this girl who's an accountant in financial services, although I live in a big city this is a small world, turns out I know her through several people at her work. Although we've never met I know of her and she knows of me too, is this a positive or a negative? Will my working in recruitment put her off? We do after all pester the hell out of people like her constantly, but hopefully us buying them food & drink counterbalances that.
Potentially interesting date ahead I guess, plus at the very least we can talk shop and I might even get a good candidate out of it!
Potentially interesting date ahead I guess, plus at the very least we can talk shop and I might even get a good candidate out of it!
Tuesday 22 November 2011
The psycho girl
Or more accurately psychoanalyst girl. So my second date was looming, I'd been talking to a psychologist over email. She was my age, similar background and education to me and came across as charming via email. We had lots in common, a shared love of French wine, The Big Bang Theory and dogs seemed to help things along nicely. She was very attractive in her photo's and I'm fairly certain I was punching way above my weight class here which definitely made me a little more nervous than I might have been.
Strangely her choice of venue to meet was the exact same pub as I had picked for my previous date. Considering the size of the city I live in and the hundreds of bars & pubs this was definitely an odd coincidence. This time things ran much more smoothly, we arranged to meet at 8, we were both on time and things got off to a great start. Instant conversation was struck up, the wine flowed and time seemed to be passing very quickly. About 2 hours later we both realised we hadn't eaten and so to continue the French theme we headed out to a small French restaurant a colleague of mine always recommends. The food was beautiful, my steak was perfectly rare and the pomme dauphinoise was superb. She had the same as me though not quite so rare and we shared a nice bottle of red and followed it all up with a couple of good rich puddings. As the night seemed to be going well we headed up to another bar for a nightcap before sharing a cab home, I got back about 1ish and definitely found myself being as much relieved as anything that there are some lovely people on match.
Unfortunately though while we'd had the rapport to chat and potentially be friends there was no physical chemistry, from either side. She was very pretty but just somehow there was no real spark for me. At first I thought maybe it's too soon after my ex and I just wouldn't find any woman attractive? Or maybe I'm being picky and small things like her smoking put me off? In the end I put it down to experience, we both felt the same way but maybe we will stay friends, who knows.
Oh and strangely I've also realised something bizarre, I notice hands a lot. Nice hands seem strangely important to me, I really don't like nail varnish or false nails at all. I do like dainty hands or hands which seem well cared for. I can't imagine many other guys are the same but maybe I'm wrong, if there's anyone out there with similar weirdness about hands please let me know!
Strangely her choice of venue to meet was the exact same pub as I had picked for my previous date. Considering the size of the city I live in and the hundreds of bars & pubs this was definitely an odd coincidence. This time things ran much more smoothly, we arranged to meet at 8, we were both on time and things got off to a great start. Instant conversation was struck up, the wine flowed and time seemed to be passing very quickly. About 2 hours later we both realised we hadn't eaten and so to continue the French theme we headed out to a small French restaurant a colleague of mine always recommends. The food was beautiful, my steak was perfectly rare and the pomme dauphinoise was superb. She had the same as me though not quite so rare and we shared a nice bottle of red and followed it all up with a couple of good rich puddings. As the night seemed to be going well we headed up to another bar for a nightcap before sharing a cab home, I got back about 1ish and definitely found myself being as much relieved as anything that there are some lovely people on match.
Unfortunately though while we'd had the rapport to chat and potentially be friends there was no physical chemistry, from either side. She was very pretty but just somehow there was no real spark for me. At first I thought maybe it's too soon after my ex and I just wouldn't find any woman attractive? Or maybe I'm being picky and small things like her smoking put me off? In the end I put it down to experience, we both felt the same way but maybe we will stay friends, who knows.
Oh and strangely I've also realised something bizarre, I notice hands a lot. Nice hands seem strangely important to me, I really don't like nail varnish or false nails at all. I do like dainty hands or hands which seem well cared for. I can't imagine many other guys are the same but maybe I'm wrong, if there's anyone out there with similar weirdness about hands please let me know!
My first date in 6 years, almost my last!
So a couple of weeks ago I had my first date in 6 years, I was equally looking forwards to it and dreading it. The girl I'd found was from the dating site, we'd swapped emails and few texts, I'd learned she had been 'til recently a student and was looking for an HR position at the moment, she was 5 years younger than me and was quite new to the town so we'd agreed to meet up and have a drink or two and I'd pick the venue. I picked a small pub in town but with a nice cosy atmosphere and some decent drinks and nibbles if things got that far.
I decided it was a nice night so I'd walk into town, it's not a long walk and I thought it'd give me time to think about things in advance. Unfortunately halfway there it started raining so I hopped on a bus to avoid turning up looking like I'd swam there. Turns out my timing wasn't great as the first person I saw on the bus I immediately recognised as my date, we did the awkward looks, then the awkward hello's, then had a pretty awkward few minutes sat next to each other trying to come up with small talk far quicker than either of us anticipated. Initial impressions were that she was very shy, she wouldn't look at me or hold my gaze at all (no I wasn't just sat staring at her). To be honest I already knew at this point that I didn't really find her attractive but I held out hopes we could have a nice few drinks and part as friends.
Once in the pub we got a couple of drinks but she was still painfully shy, one or two word answers to questions and I was starting to struggle to fill the silences with rubbish banter. By this time I'm ashamed to admit it but I was trying to think of an exit strategy with no success at all so I bought another round of drinks so I could have a short time out. As she drank the second drink though she got a touch more talkative, I was starting to feel a little more comfortable 'til I realised that rather than just loosening up a bit she was actually starting to look a little worse for wear. In fact the more she drank the worse things got, she wasn't a big girl by any stretch of the imagination but I've rarely seen anyone drunk on a couple of pints. As a sidenote, the pints thing puts me off, yes I know, old fashioned, I'm wrong to think like that etc but it just doesn't seem lady like somehow? Do others think like this or should I just learn to live with it?
Anyway at the end of the second drink she seemed to have had far too much, not only that she now seemed to find me attractive. I'm very tall and she was maybe average height which definitely helped because it almost felt at one stage like she was about to climb me like a tree. Now don't get me wrong I am far from gods gift to women, if anything it's more like gods gift to celibacy sometimes but the alcohol must have gone to her head and convinced her I was the one for her. In what felt like at the time a great idea I suggested that as the rain had stopped and we obviously lived in the same general direction we should take a nice walk through a lovely bit of town an get some fresh air. Genius! It had worked a treat 'til about 10 minutes into the walk she needs the toilet so we had to duck into another bar. I decide I need to quickly use the toilet too but to my dismay when I came back out she was at the bar with another 2 drinks in hand for us. Apparently I'm no longer a genius. After failing to avoid drinking the new drinks things went from bad to worse, I became miraculously more attractive and she became even more intoxicated.
Having no idea what to do I managed to talk her outside then hailed us a taxi and got her to her house. I asked the driver to wait for me while I got her into her place to make sure she was safe and promptly fell over the dog on my way out. Only to turn round and see her undressing herself and suggesting all kinds of things, I did the ungentlemanly thing of dashing out the door and heading for the hills!
My first date in 6 years, total disaster. From here on in I promise myself I will always find out as much as possible about my date before I agree to meet and I always either walk to town or get a taxi, never a bus.
I remain hopeful though, I'm not the best catch by any means and I'm sure someone in the future might see a date with me as just as disasterous. I hope she finds someone she likes and gels with soon.
I decided it was a nice night so I'd walk into town, it's not a long walk and I thought it'd give me time to think about things in advance. Unfortunately halfway there it started raining so I hopped on a bus to avoid turning up looking like I'd swam there. Turns out my timing wasn't great as the first person I saw on the bus I immediately recognised as my date, we did the awkward looks, then the awkward hello's, then had a pretty awkward few minutes sat next to each other trying to come up with small talk far quicker than either of us anticipated. Initial impressions were that she was very shy, she wouldn't look at me or hold my gaze at all (no I wasn't just sat staring at her). To be honest I already knew at this point that I didn't really find her attractive but I held out hopes we could have a nice few drinks and part as friends.
Once in the pub we got a couple of drinks but she was still painfully shy, one or two word answers to questions and I was starting to struggle to fill the silences with rubbish banter. By this time I'm ashamed to admit it but I was trying to think of an exit strategy with no success at all so I bought another round of drinks so I could have a short time out. As she drank the second drink though she got a touch more talkative, I was starting to feel a little more comfortable 'til I realised that rather than just loosening up a bit she was actually starting to look a little worse for wear. In fact the more she drank the worse things got, she wasn't a big girl by any stretch of the imagination but I've rarely seen anyone drunk on a couple of pints. As a sidenote, the pints thing puts me off, yes I know, old fashioned, I'm wrong to think like that etc but it just doesn't seem lady like somehow? Do others think like this or should I just learn to live with it?
Anyway at the end of the second drink she seemed to have had far too much, not only that she now seemed to find me attractive. I'm very tall and she was maybe average height which definitely helped because it almost felt at one stage like she was about to climb me like a tree. Now don't get me wrong I am far from gods gift to women, if anything it's more like gods gift to celibacy sometimes but the alcohol must have gone to her head and convinced her I was the one for her. In what felt like at the time a great idea I suggested that as the rain had stopped and we obviously lived in the same general direction we should take a nice walk through a lovely bit of town an get some fresh air. Genius! It had worked a treat 'til about 10 minutes into the walk she needs the toilet so we had to duck into another bar. I decide I need to quickly use the toilet too but to my dismay when I came back out she was at the bar with another 2 drinks in hand for us. Apparently I'm no longer a genius. After failing to avoid drinking the new drinks things went from bad to worse, I became miraculously more attractive and she became even more intoxicated.
Having no idea what to do I managed to talk her outside then hailed us a taxi and got her to her house. I asked the driver to wait for me while I got her into her place to make sure she was safe and promptly fell over the dog on my way out. Only to turn round and see her undressing herself and suggesting all kinds of things, I did the ungentlemanly thing of dashing out the door and heading for the hills!
My first date in 6 years, total disaster. From here on in I promise myself I will always find out as much as possible about my date before I agree to meet and I always either walk to town or get a taxi, never a bus.
I remain hopeful though, I'm not the best catch by any means and I'm sure someone in the future might see a date with me as just as disasterous. I hope she finds someone she likes and gels with soon.
Introduction
So this is my first real blog, I'm not massively sure why I'm doing this but maybe it'll be cathartic, or at least I might get some female input on where I go wrong! Anyway by way of introduction, I'm a guy in my early 30's, I'm a little geeky by my own admission but I'm fairly comfortable in my own skin. About 5 months ago I split up with my girlfriend of over 5 years who I loved very much, I was happy and contented with her for the vast majority of that time. Anyway that means I've been out of the dating game for a long time and the last time I was in it I was much younger a bit thinner and far more able to meet girls out and about in bars or wherever.
A short while ago I joined an online dating site, with a view to hopefully meeting some nice people and having a bit of fun. No that's no a euphemism, my long term aim is a relationship not a series of one night stands but it'd be nice to make some new friends along the way and maybe try some new things. This blog is the story of how things have gone so far and how they'll keep going. At least until I meet either the one for me or give up trying anyway!
To expand a little more on me, while I've been out of dating for a while, I am comfortable meeting new people. In fact I pretty much do it for a living so I'm not really the nervous type, in fact I'd be a fairly easy date as I'm reasonable at putting people at their ease and asking questions about them and finding out what makes them tick. Conversely though I am incredibly bad at knowing if a girl is even vaguely interested in me, to the extent she would pretty much have to either tell me or strip naked in front of me for me to realise. I'm also very old fashioned, I like to pay for the date (even if my bank manager probably thinks otherwise!), I hold doors open and anything else that goes with good old fashioned manners. I'm not hugely picky, that may sound like a bad thing but bear with me on it, what I mean is I'm not too hung up on looks. Yes there has to be an attraction there, I'm not looking for an Ewok or anything but equally I'm far more interesting in people with something to say for themselves. I love people who are passionate or expert, it doesn't matter in what but I find that kind of enthusiasm infectious and quite frankly I'm interested in pretty much everything anyway.
That's about as much back story as this probably needs so on with the blog! I'll update later with how my only 2 dates have gone so far and then run this as a real time blog of my highs and yes far more likely lows of looking for love.
A short while ago I joined an online dating site, with a view to hopefully meeting some nice people and having a bit of fun. No that's no a euphemism, my long term aim is a relationship not a series of one night stands but it'd be nice to make some new friends along the way and maybe try some new things. This blog is the story of how things have gone so far and how they'll keep going. At least until I meet either the one for me or give up trying anyway!
To expand a little more on me, while I've been out of dating for a while, I am comfortable meeting new people. In fact I pretty much do it for a living so I'm not really the nervous type, in fact I'd be a fairly easy date as I'm reasonable at putting people at their ease and asking questions about them and finding out what makes them tick. Conversely though I am incredibly bad at knowing if a girl is even vaguely interested in me, to the extent she would pretty much have to either tell me or strip naked in front of me for me to realise. I'm also very old fashioned, I like to pay for the date (even if my bank manager probably thinks otherwise!), I hold doors open and anything else that goes with good old fashioned manners. I'm not hugely picky, that may sound like a bad thing but bear with me on it, what I mean is I'm not too hung up on looks. Yes there has to be an attraction there, I'm not looking for an Ewok or anything but equally I'm far more interesting in people with something to say for themselves. I love people who are passionate or expert, it doesn't matter in what but I find that kind of enthusiasm infectious and quite frankly I'm interested in pretty much everything anyway.
That's about as much back story as this probably needs so on with the blog! I'll update later with how my only 2 dates have gone so far and then run this as a real time blog of my highs and yes far more likely lows of looking for love.
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